Florida Man Vs. Pokemon Go


Pokemon Go has taken the world by storm, with millions of supposedly mature, fully-grown adults, taking to wandering around their cities in search of invisible Pokemon. Ironically, as the nature of the game includes actually having to leave your house (or parents’ basement), countless fat nerds and neckbeards have felt excluded by this game, as exposure to sunlight might actually reduce the pastiness of their skin, and physical exercise is, as everyone knows, strictly for dumb jocks who drink protein shakes all day (if you are such a jock check out http://theproteininvestor.com/ for the best source of cheap whey protein)

Enter Florida Man! How will our intrepid hero navigate this new craze? Let’s take a look at a couple of his exploits below:

Officials: Man Shoots at ‘Pokemon Go’ Players Outside House

Authorities say a Florida man fired shots at two late-night “Pokemon Go” players in a car outside his house but no one was injured.

Flagler County Sheriff’s Office spokesman James Troiano says in a news release that the homeowner awoke to a noise outside about 1:30 a.m. Saturday and saw a car sitting in the road in front of his house. He told authorities he got a handgun and approached the vehicle.

Troiano says the two teens in the car sped away and the man fired several shots at them.

Later that morning, he says, the mother of one of the teens called the sheriff’s office when they realized the car had a flat tire and several bullet holes in it. She told officials the two had been playing the smartphone app.

The release says the investigation is ongoing.”

Source: ABC News

Wow! This Florida Man is not messing around! Did our hero truly feel like his life was in mortal danger, or did he just want to keep all the rare Pokemons in his yard for himself? The jury has yet to reach a verdict.

Let’s take a look at another Pokemon Go and Florida Man related exploit, shall we?

Police tase, arrest Pokemon Go player after he refuses to leave Park

One person was arrested in Ballast Point Park on Thursday night after he refused to leave the Park because he was playing the gaming app, Pokemon Go.

Tampa Police received a complaint for trespassers in the park after closing time on Thursday night around 10:30 p.m.

When officers arrived, they found over 150 people in the park, walking around with their smartphones, playing the game. They told everyone to leave the park and everyone complied except for one male.

Officers attempted to arrest the man, identified as David T. Mastrototaro-Baermude, 20, for trespassing after a warning was given. Mastrototaro-Baermude reportedly grabbed an officer’s arm and pushed off of the officer. He continued to resist arrest and he almost pulled an officer to the ground while they attempted to arrest him. While Mastrototaro-Baermude was resisting, the officer tased him in order to get him to comply with law enforcement. He was then arrested without further incident. 

Mastrototaro-Baermude was arrested for Trespassing after warning and resisting arrest.”

Source: ABC Action News (don’t forget to check out the actual video on the page!)

Looks like this Florida Man really, really wanted all those Pokemons! Not even Team Rocket, I mean, Florida police could stop his quest to be the very best, like no one ever was! To catch them is his real test, to tase him is because…. Pokemon!

That’s all for Florida Man vs Pokemon Go, folks! Stay tuned for more exploits of our favorite hero!